


danger

by anon_drabble



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Based on a Tumblr Post, Car Accidents, F/M, Hand Feeding, Mafia AU, Mafia Boss, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Violence, bad singing, majia jumin, mob boss jumin, permission given by artist, potamikou, potamikou art, potamikou au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-15
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-07-12 19:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16002017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon_drabble/pseuds/anon_drabble
Summary: this is based off an au by potamikou on tumblr in which jumin is a mafia boss (because he looks like one in his good ending lol). please go see the original comic on potamikou’s tumblr page. (links below)i was given permission by potamikou to use their mafia au for this.i meant for this to be a short piece like my others. but it kept getting longer as more ideas kept coming. so this will be a small series. so far there are at least 3 chapters planned but more could be added.this is somewhat more mature and there will be scenes later that are potentially triggering. this first part has some sexual content.





	1. boredom broken

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [mafia jumin comic](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/417893) by potamikou. 



> please see potamikou's comic here: http://potamikou.tumblr.com/post/177408723273/weekend-draws-ive-always-wanted-to-draw-jumin-in
> 
> as always also posted on my tumblr https://anon-drabble.tumblr.com

ORIGINAL COMIC BY [POTAMIKOU](https://potamikou.tumblr.com) ON TUMBLR HERE: [original comic](http://potamikou.tumblr.com/post/177408723273/weekend-draws-ive-always-wanted-to-draw-jumin-in)

 

 _How dull_ , Jumin thought.

His eyes lazily wandered up at the woman bouncing on top of him. Her breasts were slapping unattractively every time she impaled herself upon him. He fought back a yawn. There was no point to this. He allowed her only a few seconds more of her activities before he half-heartedly ejaculated. He pushed the woman (had she had a name?) off of him and donned a robe. She left, but while she was angry, she didn’t dare show it to the boss’s son.

It wasn’t that Jumin was dangerous, really. His apathy was well-known and his father had nurtured that impression. It resulted in everyone believing Jumin was the scary heir to his father’s group. No one really knew what he was capable of. Even Jumin himself didn’t quite know what sort of boss he’d be. He supposed following his father’s example was fine for now.

The biggest trouble was that Jumin was single. His father didn’t want a single man inheriting the group so there was pressure to force Jumin into a relationship. At first, Jumin used it to satisfy himself but there was no end to the women and he ultimately grew bored. There was just no way he could ever feel anything for those women. They were all mafia women and he saw no reason to associate with them.

Time to discuss things with his father, then. Jumin called for his car the next morning. Driver Kim arrived right on time as always. He was standing beside the open door to the car. But next to him was a young woman. She was small and unimposing. She had a simple beauty but nothing extraordinary. She seemed nervous but gave Jumin a bright smile.

“Good morning, Mr. Han!” the woman said. Jumin blinked in response. He ignored the greeting and climbed into the car. As Driver Kim shut his door, Jumin heard him admonish the girl.

“We do not greet him! It is not our place to speak unless spoken to first. We are not here to have a conversation!”

“Yes, Uncle. I see.” The girl sounded defeated. Good, that meant she’d learned.

During the drive, Jumin heard Driver Kim explaining the job. He had to admit to some relief when he heard that this woman would not be driving Jumin. She’d be placed elsewhere. Good. He could relax a bit, then. Driver Kim was the best they had and Jumin didn’t want that to change.

Though Jumin continued to listen to them, he didn’t remember their conversation. It was noise to him but it wasn’t horrible to listen to. It kept his nerves calm as he was taken to his father. Jumin wasn’t particularly afraid to speak to his father but there were times when his father was…moody. The meeting shouldn’t end badly but if there was yet another new woman on his father’s arm, it might end up being troublesome.

And Jumin hated trouble.

Driver Kim and his niece dropped Jumin, the young boss-in-line to the meeting with his father. Driver Kim was called away to deal with another matter but he promised MC that he would be back shortly, long before Jumin returned. MC made use of the time by polishing the car to a spotless state. This wasn’t her ideal job. She knew her uncle worked for questionable people. But there was no doubt that the money he made was good. And MC needed the money. Her father wasn’t in the best of health and he would need expensive medical treatment for the rest of his life. And while this job wasn’t  what she wanted, it was better than some alternatives.

MC heard a door slam and saw the heir charging outside. He was walking quickly and while his face was neutral, she felt anger coming from him. _Don’t come this way, don’t come this way…_ she thought. Her uncle still hadn’t returned. And while she could certainly drive, she was under strict instructions not to. Not to mention she’d be basically stealing her uncle’s car. In response to her silent plea, Jumin stormed up to her. He towered over her but she stood there and looked at him.

“Take me away from here,” he commanded.

“I-I can’t. I apologize, sir. My uncle will return at any minute and then we can–”

“We are leaving now.”

“Sir… I do apologize but I can’t… “

Jumin scoffed and effortlessly lifted the girl and moved her out of the way. He climbed into the driver’s seat. Good. The keys were still in the ignition. Technically Jumin couldn’t drive but how hard could it truly be? He heard the girl jump into the car next to him. She begged him not to leave but why should Jumin listen to her? The car’s engine turned over and Jumin pulled away. It was quickly evident that driving a car was not as easy as Driver Kim made it look. Jumin was able to keep them on the road but he didn’t seem to like to drive in a straight line. The tree jumped out in front of the car and Jumin couldn’t correct in time.

MC woke up several minutes. Her head pounded. She reached up, felt the warm wetness of blood. She groaned quietly and then saw Jumin start to stir. “Sir!” She reached over and helped him adjust himself. He held his head before glancing over. He saw the broken glass and the cut bleeding on her head.

“How do trees simply appear like that?” he asked in a low but still annoyingly neutral tone.

“They don’t! Unless you are going far too fast and cannot steer. Sir, you can’t drive?! Why did you take the car? I could have driven! That was incredibly irresponsible! What am I supposed to tell my uncle?” She wanted to hit him. She was so angry. How could he be so careless and put them in that situation?

“You refused. I simply took matters into my own hands,” he said with that infuriating calm.

“You nearly killed us! What sort of spoiled son are you?”

“I was confident we would not be killed.”

“Confident? You were confident? We’re alive but we’re trapped, did you realize that? Look at the way our doors caved in. We can’t get out of the car. If no one comes for us, we’ll be stuck here for some time.”

Jumin glanced down at his door. She was right. No to mention she had a cut on her head and his arm was aching and he could barely move it. Broken? Perhaps. “So I see. Perhaps I made a mistake.” The girl looked like she was about to scream. “Can you reach into my pocket? I have a phone that will connect us directly to my house. They will send someone.” She questioned him with her eyes as to why she had to grab his phone. “I’m afraid my arm will not allow me to get it.” Her expression softened. The young woman took the phone and made the call. The instant she said Jumin was injured, someone was on their way.

They sat in silence for a moment but MC couldn’t stand it. “I’m sorry for yelling. But it was irresponsible of you.”

“You may be right.”

“My name is MC. I didn’t introduce myself earlier. My uncle helped me get a job as a driver for your group and he wanted to teach me. Um… You were angry when you left, weren’t you? Did something happen?”

Jumin looked at the woman. “Angry? No, I wasn’t.”

“You definitely were. Maybe not your face but something was bothering you.”

Who was this woman? Nothing ever upset him. He was calm at all times. She was mistaken. “My father found a new woman to dote upon. That is nothing new. However, I asked to be kept out of any marriage plans and that was when he told me he’d already chosen my wife for me. I did not wish to meet her so I left. Nothing upset me.”

“Nothing upset you? You were told you’d be in an arranged marriage and you’re trying to tell me it didn’t bother you? I would have been angry.” She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. “I suppose arranged marriages would be common for your family, though. Maybe she would have been a beneficial partner? Not a lover, maybe, but someone to assist you?”

His eyes narrowed the smallest bit. This woman was.. Odd. It wasn’t bad, though. “I was not upset. I was told I would never be forced into marriage but my father will change his mind soon enough. The woman he chose has no mind for this business. She would merely serve as an attractive piece of baggage. But I have no need for that.”

MC stayed silent at that. She didn’t know quite how to respond to him. It was just as well as they were shortly joined by some of Jumin’s men. They cut the pair out of the car and immediately went to a hospital. As Jumin suspected, his arm was broken. MC required a few stitches to her head but was otherwise fine. Both were returned to Jumin’s house. His father requested a visit but was refused. Jumin refused all company but later that night, he called for MC to come to his room. Everyone assumed they knew the reason. MC wanted to refuse but she knew she couldn’t. She’d be risking more than her job to refuse.

She found Jumin sitting in his room, pouring a glass of wine for himself. “Sir? You called for me.” Jumin gestured for her to sit. She took a seat opposite him. He looked impeccable considering the car accident. His hair was slicked back, not a single strand out of place. Though he wasn’t in a suit, he still gave off the air of class and grace. Truth be told, he was an attractive man. He knew how to take care of his appearance. He was maybe a bit childish but that was expected from a mafia heir. He most likely hadn’t had a normal childhood.

Jumin finished pouring his wine and took a slow drink before he raised his eyes to look at her. MC felt a shiver travel down her spine. “What do you require?” he asked, sounding bored.

“’S-Sir?” she squeaked, obviously afraid.

“In recompense. I injured you. Obviously my family will pay for all of your medical needs until you are fully healed. I assume you desire a check in exchange for your silence? Will one million do?”

“What? Sir, I don’t… I don’t need a check,” MC stammered, holding her hands up to stop him. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone. I don’t need you to give me hush money. You were upset. We all make bad decisions when we’re upset. I just… If I may ask something of you, I’d like to keep my job. I don’t want to have to find another job.”

Now it was Jumin’s turn to be surprised. His eyes even widened and MC could read that he wasn’t expecting her response. He paused before he finally agreed. “I see. I accept your terms. You will continue training under Driver Kim but only once you are healed. I will remain firm on that. You will still receive your salary during that time. I cannot have someone with a head injury driving around.” Jumin reached and tried to close the wine bottle but doing so one-handed was not easy. He splashed a few drops. MC reached forward and corked the bottle for him. She gave him a silent look and he knew she was asking where he wanted the wine placed. “On that shelf, there.” Jumin gave MC a long, hard look over his wine glass as he took another sip. “I was not upset earlier. You need to stop saying that.”

MC cracked a smile, no longer worried for her chastity. “It’s okay, sir. I won’t tell anyone you were upset either. That will be our secret.” Jumin seemed annoyed at her answer and she laughed quietly. “And it’ll be our secret that you’re annoyed now and that you don’t like having only one hand because you think it makes you weaker. It doesn’t. But I won’t tell anyone you’re human. I’ll keep your secrets.”

“Leave.” His response was cold and her smile fell. Had she gone too far? But she obeyed, leaving Jumin alone. Who was that girl? How dare she presume to know how Jumin felt? She was a fool, that was all.

But her smile remained in his mind. And her laugh. What an irritating girl, invading his thoughts.


	2. mealtime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> part 2 of the mafia jumin au. not much plot development but i enjoy a slow build haha.
> 
> please see potamikou's comic here: http://potamikou.tumblr.com/post/177408723273/weekend-draws-ive-always-wanted-to-draw-jumin-in
> 
> as always also posted on my tumblr https://anon-drabble.tumblr.com

ORIGINAL COMIC BY [POTAMIKOU](https://potamikou.tumblr.com) ON TUMBLR HERE: [original comic](http://potamikou.tumblr.com/post/177408723273/weekend-draws-ive-always-wanted-to-draw-jumin-in)

 

 

MC sighed and slumped over the arm of the chair. She never expected working for the mafia to be boring with but Jumin insisting she not work until she was healed, it was dull. Dull, dull, dull. Her uncle had his own small apartment on the complex and she was staying there during her employment. But her uncle was gone and she was bored. Sunlight streamed in the window and though it was a temporary distraction at best, she decided to go outside for a walk. At first she’d been afraid of going outside on her own. But there was a rumor going around after the accident of Jumin and MC having some sort of relationship. She hadn’t seen him since that night, when he’d offered her the money and she turned him down. It had been over a week now. But because no one knew the true story of what happened, there were extravagant rumors in place. She had kidnapped Jumin upon learning of his arranged marriage and they were running off together to be married. They hit the tree likely because they were trying to share a passionate moment and not paying attention to the road. But they were hurt and forced back home but Jumin still made her his mistress (as it was expected that he would keep a mistress or two during his marriage). It was all a lie but it did mean that MC was mostly left alone as everyone was afraid of her and what sort of wrath she might have Jumin inflict. It was troublesome for her at best. She rarely cared much for her reputation but she didn’t want people to believe there was anything between her and Jumin. But she had promised and she’d keep that promise.

As she was pulling on her shoes for her walk, one of Jumin’s men showed up. She was informed she had been requested immediately by Jumin. Why? What did he want? She hurried over, not bothering to change. It mind end up leading to more rumors as she was only wearing a simple sundress and while it wasn’t revealing or sexy, it wasn’t something to wear in a professional setting.

She knocked at Jumin’s door and was left alone. The door opened and she entered the room.

“Close the door.” Jumin was standing in front of her. She had almost forgotten how tall he was.

She did as she was told and silently shut the door behind her. “Sir? Did you request me?”

“Not you. I asked for anyone who was free. I did not think they’d ask you. It’s frustrating. There are certain things I cannot do with my arm like this.”

Now she understood. She noticeably relaxed but thankfully didn’t laugh this time. “It is hard sometimes, isn’t it? I broke my arm when I was a kid. What do you need?”

Jumin gave her a small list. Mostly odd jobs. Help him sign some papers. Help him shave. Run a bath. As she was working her way through, Jumin was going through his papers, working hard. He obviously worked hard, though he could likely have coasted through and just used his connection. But he put himself into his work. “Sir? I certainly don’t mind doing these things but don’t you have a personal assistant for this?” she asked, unable to stop her curiosity.

“They left. It was unexpected. I am not prepared to hire someone new just yet.” She saw him glance at his arm. Ah. He still wanted to hide that he couldn’t do everything himself. It was silly but she felt bad for him. He must not have been close to anyone there if he couldn’t trust anyone seeing him unable to do everything with a broken arm. It was unrealistic to think he could do everything.

“I see. Well. If it’s not imposing, I could help you. Like this. Until I can resume being a driver, at least.” She caught Jumin looking at her and she smiled a little. “Like I said, I know how hard it is to only use one arm all the time. It’s really frustrating to not be able to do the smallest things. Besides, I don’t like sitting around with nothing to do. I might as well earn the money you’re paying me.” She gave a dry chuckle. “And they’re already talking about me that way, might as well give them more ammo,” she added under her breath.

Jumin suddenly stood up, his chair scraping the floor. He approached her quickly until he was standing over her. How was he suddenly so imposing just when he did that? “What did you say? Talking about what?” he demanded.

MC blushed. “Oh. The rumors,” she shrugged her shoulders. Jumin didn’t seem to know them. “They think I’m your mistress or something. That the car accident was me taking you so we could run off together. That sort of thing.”

“Why do they think that? I was driving.” Jumin never paid any mind to rumors and most of his subordinates were careful to not speak about such things in his presence.

MC met Jumin’s eyes. She seemed much more serious all of a sudden. “I promised I wouldn’t say anything, remember? They don’t know you took the car because you were upset about your father.” She didn’t blame Jumin and wasn’t angry but had he truly not thought that she might have to deal with other consequences?

Truthfully, Jumin hadn’t thought that far. He was a bit shocked, She had suffered salacious gossip simply to keep his secret. Yes, he had asked her to but he hardly expected her to comply when she was the one being blamed. But she had kept her mouth shut.

“You may work for me if that is what you wish. I feel I owe you as you have suffered this gossip because of me. I will put an end to those rumors as well.” Jumin allowed. But he sounded cold and unattached again.

MC cocked her head to the side to inspect him. “You’re used to this, aren’t you? Rumors of women and all that. How many have you actually been with?” She sighed and clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “That’s an awful lot of trouble. You’re welcome to deny them if you want but I find that usually just gives rise to more rumors.”

Jumin watched the girl’s eyes. Something was there, just below the surface. Something she wasn’t revealing. It perturbed him, to be completely honest. This girl acted like she could see through him, even making up some he was certain he didn’t feel. “It is troublesome,” he agreed, studying her reaction. “One I am accustomed to. And if I’m mistaken, one you are as well.” That was it. He saw her flinch.

MC hadn’t expected Jumin to be quite that astute. But he was right. “Yeah. You’re right. They were false rumors, that I was sleeping with my married professor. A lot of people go through it. I fought it, said it was a lie. He went in front of his classes and denied it, too. That just made them worse. But the part that really bothered me was that I was the mistress. That I would allow a married or a coupled man to cheat on their partner with me. I wouldn’t do that. I’m not attracted to men who would.” She tried the shrug the heavy subject off.

Jumin’s eyes narrowed just the smallest bit. “Most girls would hate the rumor itself. You’re a strange one.”

Despite herself, MC smiled. “Yeah. I am. I know.”

She asked to get immediately to work, wanting to clear the air of the conversation. There wasn’t much she needed to do. Lay out Jumin’s clothes, make his bed, just housekeeping things. It wasn’t glamorous but it gave her something to do. MC was the sort to finish a task to completion and had a bit of a perfectionist streak when it came to cleaning. If it wasn’t completely spotless and germ-free, then you didn’t really clean, right? MC busied herself cleaning Jumin’s already pristine bathroom. It was almost ridiculous, how white it was. She wanted to put on sunglasses. The tile was intricately patterned but not in a way to be distracting. There was a comfortable tub for soaking, a shower that could probably fit about seven people comfortably. The sink MC was particularly delighted by. There was a small, unassuming button on the wall. Press it, and water tumbled _upward_ out of the faucet, like a drinking fountain! It was so unexpected, she couldn’t help but laugh at it. In short, MC was quite jealous of his bathroom. But she was thorough and wanted to make sure to clean everywhere. Jumin was busy doing paperwork so… it was okay to listen to some music while she worked, right?

Jumin was concentrating on his paperwork. He never needed to worry himself with such things but he insisted. He always read everything and nothing slipped by him. It made him a very capable heir and many theorized Jumin would be moving the group in a completely different direction. Some even feared he might make them… Legitimate. The horror! But on this day, the papers were particularly obtuse and long and very shortly, Jumin had a splitting headache. He worked through it for a time. But soon, not even Jumin could ignore it. He pushed back from his desk and scowled at his injured arm. What a hassle. He lifted himself from the leather office chair and heard MC in his bathroom. He decided it was definitely time to be left alone so he went to excuse her from her duties for the day. But as he approached, he heard her music playing. And heard her singing along. He rounded the corner and saw her, paying complete attention to her cleaning, singing to her music loudly. Her singing was… Horrible! It was off-key and she even messed up the words. This woman! Who seemed so sure of herself while lecturing Jumin and she was the worst singer he’d heard! He let out a sharp exhalation through his nose which sounded a bit like a snorted laugh. It was a sharp sound that alerted MC to his presence.

She turned and saw him. His expression remained still but she saw the amusement, the mocking nature in his eyes. A blush spread across her cheeks. “Hey! No interrupting! I’m working!”

The lifted eyebrow indicated that Jumin wasn’t about to let her off easy. “Are you? Assaulting my eardrums was not among your list of tasks. I recommend you do not simply add more according to your own wishes. I only expect you to finish what I ask of you.”

The blush deepened and MC’s expression turned angry. Somewhat. Not as angry as she’d be in the car but a pout turned the corners of her mouth down as she tried to glare at him. Finally she sighed, seeing he wasn’t about to back down. “Was there something you needed, _sir_?” she asked, the last word dripping with disrespect.

Jumin just continued to smirk at her with his eyes yet his face remained with the same stony expression. “You’re done for today. Be back tomorrow at 8 am.” Jumin locked the door behind her. What a strange person. At least she did her job but he just didn’t know what to make of that girl. But somehow, his quarters felt almost too silent now. What a hassle.

As expected, the rumors were making rounds with renewed vigor after MC emerged from Jumin’s quarters. She didn’t enjoy the colorful comments she heard muttered under breaths when she went by. Obviously they knew she heard the remarks. Most were crass and just meant to get a rise out of her, which she refused to give them the pleasure. But she wasn’t sure if becoming Jumin’s personal assistant was going to be the best option now. It was too late for second guessing that decision, though.

Thankfully, another week went by and it was relatively peaceful. Jumin kept his word to dispel the rumors (mostly) though he did it privately and maturely so for the most part, it worked. MC continued to work hard for Jumin, glad to have something to do. She found the man to be a strange mix of childish (the way he refused to believe he had normal human emotions) and extremely competent head-to-be. She couldn’t deny he was impressive and though she tried to keep her place, sometimes he was just too frustrating. For example, his eating habits. With his arm in a sling, it left one hand free to do paperwork. Previously, Jumin had eaten his meals while working. That was no longer an option so he began skipping meals when he was no longer hungry. That would not do! MC caught on quickly (probably too quickly for Jumin’s taste) and began nagging. He frequently became cross with her but the incident repeated itself and each time, MC stood her ground longer. It was something they began to butt heads on frequently.

One day, MC had _enough_. He was still refusing but she swore it was just him being stubborn more than him absolutely needing to work. She stormed off to his small kitchen, muttering under her breath. “Stupid, spoiled, rich son. Thinks he doesn’t need food. Child, he’s just a spoiled, bratty kid, that’s all. Doesn’t deserve food but he’s gonna get it and I’m gonna give it to him.” MC wasn’t the most amazing cook but she could manage sandwiches. She stomped back to Jumin, ready to force the food down his throat if she had to.

There he was, hunched over his desk, pretending to work. Probably pretending. She put the plate down, letting it clatter a bit. She _knew_ the sound drove Jumin nuts when he was working. He looked up with a stubborn anger in his gaze. She met it equally.

“You’re eating. Now, sir.” Her voice was steady.

“I’m busy.”

“Then I recommend you eat _quickly_ so you can return to work.”

“Leave it in the kitchen. I will eat it later.” He went back to burying his nose in his papers.

Oh, no. He wasn’t getting off that easily. “Fine. You brought this on yourself.” MC picked up the knife she’d brought from the kitchen. She cut a sandwich into little bite-sized squares. “It’s not my job to hand-feed you but spoiled children like you need to learn manners.”

Jumin’s head jerked up at her harsh words. Normally, MC wasn’t so brash. The instant he lifted his head, though, she had pushed the sandwich bite inside his mouth. He was too shocked to fight back. He slowly chewed, his eyes growing darker. He was dangerously close to angry.

But MC didn’t back down. She held up the next piece. This time, Jumin didn’t easily open his mouth. He kept it closed. Tight. MC was annoyed and perhaps that was what pushed her to do what she did. Because it certainly wasn’t in her normal behaviors. She squared her shoulders and leaned a bit closer. She pressed a single finger to his lips (wait, how could a man’s lips possibly be that soft?) and easily slipped it inside. She pressed his lower jaw down and his mouth opened just a crack, enough for her to push the sandwich in again.

Not to be outdone, Jumin made sure to close his lips around her fingers as she was removing them, giving them a split-second kiss. This was her game and he wasn’t a fan. He would have to fire her.

MC felt his lips close around her fingers and suddenly her anger abandoned her. No, that definitely didn’t feel like their stubborn feud over food. That was different. It was intimate. She blushed a dark shade of red and found she couldn’t meet Jumin’s eyes. Her hands fell to her lap. The fingers Jumin had brushed with his lips felt like they were tingling.

“F-Fine. You win. I’ll just leave these in the kitchen,” she stammered, desperate to get out of there as quickly as possible.

What she hadn’t seen was Jumin’s eyes soften when she blushed. His own anger evaporated. Oh? She couldn’t even play her own game to completion. That was… Cute. Thoughts of firing her were gone when he noted how she almost seemed unwilling to let the fingers he’d tasted touch anything else. She didn’t wipe them clean, didn’t even put her hands together. Almost like she was savoring the touch. He noted her sudden shy obedience and he much preferred that MC. “No. Leave them here. I’ll eat them in my own time.”

MC still couldn’t bring herself to look at Jumin. She was horrified by what she’d done. Thankfully, there was no need for her to stay. She scurried out, keeping her head down to hide her deep crimson blush as she ran back to her uncle’s apartment. The same thought thundered in her head the whole way.

What had she _done_?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry there may be more of a gap between this and the next chapter. i'm giving requests a little bit more of a priority. but hopefully part 3 will be up by the end of the month?


	3. challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this work isn't dead yet, have no fear! this is a short chapter compared to the others but it’s leading up to the next one which will be rather action-oriented. 
> 
> though this chapter was slow, please bear with me. also if you don’t think jumin would jump at the chance to play a secret agent and follow someone around under cover of darkness for no reason, you’re absolutely wrong.

“Father. You’re not listening to me. I have no interest in this woman.”

“Jumin! She’s right here. Be courteous.”

Jumin’s head ached behind his neutral expression. His father wasn’t listening and Jumin was expected to marry this useless woman. “She will provide us no benefit. If I must marry, she must help our family.”

Those words were a mistake. Jumin realized as soon as he saw his father’s expression. ‘Very well. When I find you a suitable woman, I will hear no other arguments. You, yourself, said you would accept a wife.”

At the first opportunity, Jumin stormed out. Was it rude? Yes. But now he was angry. He wanted nothing more than a glass of wine under the moon, with no one near him. Alone. As he liked it. The drive home was silent and Jumin quickly retreated to his quarters. Ready to be alone with his thoughts. But as he opened the door, he heard the unholy squawking that signified MC was there. He sighed and briskly found her, preparing a meal for him later.

“MC. Leave. You are done for the day.” His eyes were hard and he seemed more rigid than usual.

“Oh! Back from the meeting with your father, sir?” she asked, either not reading the atmosphere or ignoring it entirely. The mention of his father seemed to make Jumin more tense, though. “It didn’t go well at all, did it? You wish for wine, yes?” She’d worked for him for some time now. She knew his habits. Without a word from him, she pulled out a bottle, selecting the one he most favored when his thoughts troubled him. Was it random or had she known?

He had told her to leave but Jumin found himself sitting and allowing her to pour him a glass of wine. He took a drink, willing the alcohol to work as quickly as possible.

MC sat opposite of Jumin but didn’t pour herself a glass. “Want to talk about it? Was it about how your father wants you to marry again?” His eyes narrowed but MC only slightly backed down. She almost knew where the line was and could get dangerously close without going over. “I see. So he still wants you to get married. Didn’t he understand that you don’t want to marry someone who will just be dead weight?”

“He decided that meant I would wed a more competent woman,” Jumin said, gesturing for her to refill his glass. She did so and he indicated she should pour a glass for herself.

“Is he challenging you?” she asked, hesitating just a moment before pouring some wine for herself.

Jumin shook his head. “No. He will still find the woman and choose her himself. He has decided I can no longer object as I chose the specifications for what I wanted in a wife.”

“But you didn’t! You were just trying to explain to him…” She was angry for his sake. Jumin watched her with mild interest as she began to rant and say many of the things he had held back. This girl who hardly knew him, who had been in a car accident with him, was now nearly ready to fight for his sake. It made Jumin’s chest tight and he didn’t like how he suddenly found it more difficult to breathe. Best to just ignore that.

“Quiet. It no longer matters,” he said, absent-minded waving his hand to erase the situation.

“No longer matters? Sir, you don’t want to be in an arranged marriage, right? How does this no longer matter?”

“Because it can not be prevented. It will happen. It does not matter to you so I suggest you drop the subject.”

Jumin’s command actually worked that time. MC sat back, feeling defeated. She had noticed that more often than not, Jumin did not fight his own battles when it came to his father. They had a complicated relationship. She knew Jumin was unhappy about this, no matter what he said. But he had given up now. But maybe, there was still something they could do. “What if…” she began quietly, before smiling a little mischievously. “What if we test the woman? What if we choose the stakes? And how she has to prove herself? We can make it impossible. So no matter who your dad chooses, they won’t pass.”

Jumin thought that over for a moment. It was certainly an idea. He had high expectations for anyone wishing to associate with him so it would not be unheard of to think that he’d impose even higher standards on a wife or partner. Would his father notice and realize the intent behind such a scheme? Yes, it was likely he would. But it might show him just how serious Jumin was about avoiding the whole business. “It’s an idea. Yes. Perhaps you are onto something…”

They mildly plotted but maybe both knew they probably wouldn’t do any such tests to women. But it was nice to pretend that Jumin could still do something to fight the marriage. And for some weeks, there was no mention of Jumin’s arranged marriage. Maybe his restriction would be enough to discourage his father. During that time, MC continued as a sort of maid or butler. She typically spent her days in Jumin’s quarters, with or without him. Mostly cleaning duties, sometimes cooking, sometimes secretarial-like work. Avoiding phone calls for Jumin’s sake, mostly. It wasn’t bad, actually. Jumin was difficult to read at times but MC had enough emotions for both of them. She almost wondered if she would ever return to her original job of being a driver. They had both healed and the car accident was almost forgotten. The pressing issue had been the woman Jumin was to marry. But now even that had faded almost completely away. Until Jumin received communication from his father. He’d found a woman.

Smart. Smart to tell Jumin via a message, instead of face-to-face. Perhaps his father was learning. Or he had wrestled himself free of his new mistress’ clutches to show that he could still be clever. His father left a few details for Jumin. The woman’s name. Her current occupation. Schooling. Yes, on paper, even she might surpass his standards. But that was on paper.

“MC. We are going to find her.” Jumin told MC the next day. He wasn’t dressed in his usual suit. He was all in black, in clothing that looked as if it had never been worn. It seemed to suck the light away. He even had a black scarf in his hand.

“Sir? Isn’t it a bit late?” It was the evening. Surely if Jumin wanted to meet this woman, he’d plan a lunch or something. It was almost too late for dinner, even.

“No. Change your clothes. I have picked out your outfit for you. We are leaving once you’re changed.”

MC couldn’t really argue. When she found the clothes, she saw it was a very similar outfit to Jumin’s. Why did they both have to wear all black to meet this woman? Was it a mafia thing? Something she wouldn’t understand. Or maybe the other woman just had a strange quirk that led to Jumin wanting to dress like that.

When MC came out in her new clothes, she asked Jumin again. “Why are we going now, sir? And why did we have to wear these clothes?”

“Because we are going to find her. And watch her. I am not meeting her yet. We are…spying. And to be a spy, we must dress the part.” Maybe it was invisible to nearly everyone, but there was a light in Jumin’s eye. He was excited. He’d never admit it and his voice didn’t change. Nothing suggested it except that MC had noticed that side of Jumin. For all his acumen and charisma, there was a part of him that was still childish. Stealing the car as a form of a temper tantrum. That…thing with the sandwiches, whatever that was (MC tried not to think about it). And now this. He was a kid, playing pretend. A kid imagining he was a secret agent, embarking on a mission. But no one would ever expect an accomplished and competent son like Jumin to have such a streak. But MC had seen it and now she recognized that light in his eyes.

“Spies? Then you know what we need, right?” she said with a smirk.

“We need nothing but our wits,” Jumin said. Was he… Was he actually _pouting_ a little at MC’s suggestion that he forgot something?

“Code names. All spies have code names. Let’s see… Yours will be… Jet Cougar. It sounds dangerous, doesn’t it?” She was obviously getting into the idea more as well. But she was playing along with one of Jumin’s childish fads. Encouraging him would likely lead him to take things just a little too far. But she was having fun and though Jumin would never admit it, it was a little exhilarating. It was something new. Different. Almost disobeying his father. This wasn’t Jumin’s boring day-to-day life. This was something different. And he hadn’t asked MC to join him. He just prepared for her to be involved. As if she had no choice. Just because she was convinced that Jumin was unhappy and upset about the marriage? Perhaps. Or just because she was there. No deeper meaning.

“Your code will be Lynx,” he replied with a faint smile. “Now. We go.”


	4. investigate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things are starting to heat up! sorry i'm addicted to the trope of kissing-to-hide-identities so i just had to put it in.

Was the night dark and stormy? Not particularly. But MC and Jumin were out, in “disguise”. Not a very effective disguise, as they were just wearing different outfits. But there was a level of excitement between the two. This mission was about reconnaissance. They had the name for the woman but not her address, nor where she typically found herself at night. So they were starting somewhat blind. The woman worked as a psychologist, a behavioral researcher to be precise. When MC learned of that, she wondered how it would work with someone like Jumin who frequently had to bend the law and personal morals. But if what they knew was true, this woman was smart and capable. If anyone could be a match for Jumin, she could be.

“Ready, Jet?” MC asked. They had started at the office where the woman worked. MC expected that they would talk to other workers and ask if they saw where she went but they were dressed a little suspiciously. So Jumin had stopped and bought a coat to make MC a bit more presentable. Just like that. It was a great deal of money, too. She felt guilty that he had to buy something more but it was Jumin’s idea. She was ready to go and ask around in the least suspicious way possible. At least she had no public affiliations with Jumin’s family. “What was her name again?” That might be helpful, to know her name.

“Minji Kim,” Jumin answered. He indicated the list of names on the window of the doctors and psychologists someone could see in that particular establishment. Sure enough, Minji Kim was listed. So she was at least somewhat competent, for the office to advertise her services, in a way.

“Right. Be right back.”

MC boldly strolled inside. It was after hours but there was a receptionist there until late, as there was an emergency therapist on-call. The receptionist would contact the therapist if needed. Obviously MC didn’t need the therapist but speaking to just one person at night meant her visit could potentially go unnoticed. As long as she was careful, no one would take note of her.

“Good evening!” the receptionist chirped cheerfully. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, I do hope so!” MC couldn’t help being a little melodramatic about it. “I need someone to talk to about my husband! My friend is a patient of Minji Kim and recommended her. Do you think I could speak with her?”

The receptionist made a sympathetic noise. “Of course. Well, Dr. Kim doesn’t normally deal in marital troubles, though. I believe she’s not taking on any new patients at this time. She only takes on a very limited number of patients. We have Dr. RI if you’d like. He is well practiced and was, in fact, the one that brought Dr. Kim to our practice. He has some openings. I can get you his phone number.”

MC pouted a bit, clicking her tongue in disappointment. “Oh, is that so? Is she not married? Is that why she doesn’t take on marital cases? That doesn’t bother me! Or does she do something unsavory besides work? What sort of woman is she? I was so hoping to speak to Dr. Kim since she came so highly recommended. Is there really no way?”

The receptionist shook her head. “I’m very sorry but it’s not possible. I cannot speak to Dr. Kim’s personal life. She is a very professional woman who spends most of her free time on research matters for her papers. Please, allow me to recommend you to Dr. Ri. I have his card right here. ” The receptionist seemed a bit lost at the way MC was insisting but she ended up giving MC a little bit of information. Research. There was a library nearby. They might know her.

MC gave a final, dramatic sigh. “I see. There’s no way?” she asked one final time, to the receptionists apologetic head shake. “All right. I’ll go elsewhere, then. Thank you for your help.”

The receptionist bid her goodbye and MC exited to join Jumin nearby.

“What did you learn?” he asked, watching her as she joined him.

“Not much. She does a lot of research so our next stop should be the library down the road. But I’m not sure how to question them without it being suspicious.” She wondered if Jumin was disappointed at all. When she phrased it all that way, it almost seemed MC learned nothing. Jumin had been standing there, in his stoic fashion. Was he already getting bored, again? Obviously MC didn’t care at all about this woman but she had wanted to cheer Jumin up. He had been so upset about the news. She went along with this silly plot only to help him. Now that she had gotten to know him, she could see he had so much weight on his shoulders. Others somehow didn’t see it but MC saw the pain he was internalizing. She saw how he held himself back in every situation and could only pour his focus into his work. Distracting him with this little game was the least she could do.

“I believe I can take care of the library,” he replied. MC shot him a questioning look. “We own the land and the library only exists there because of my family. They will cooperate with me.” For some reason, the words sounded dangerous, almost threatening. She almost forgot sometimes that Jumin’s family were actually criminals.

Going to the library was only a short walk. It was just about closing time when they got there but Jumin walked in as though he owned the place. Which he technically did. He didn’t even need to introduce himself. The first person who saw him recognized him. As Jumin said, they were willing to tell him anything he asked. He didn’t even bother being candid. He asked everything he wanted to know about Minji. They didn’t learn much of anything else, except that she was there nearly every day. And that she was a “trusted customer” as they called her. The term made Jumin’s eyes narrow, though. MC didn’t know what that meant but it must have been important information to Jumin. He asked for a few specific people by name, likely to question them more about Minji. But  none of them were present. Jumin didn’t seem overly happy or pleased with the information. Once it became clear that he’d learned everything he could at that point, he turned and walked out, with MC trailing behind. He said nothing, but made his way down an alley. She spotted a nearby door which Jumin eyed. But it had a large lock that didn’t look like something that could be easily broken. He shot it a glare but left it alone. He was stalking away, not saying a word to MC. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She reached out, and grabbed his arm.

“What’s going on? What did you find out?” she asked.

He gave her a look that indicated he thought she was an idiot. She had been in the library, heard the same things he did. Why bother asking? “We learned what we already knew. That she frequents the library,” he said coldly.

“You don’t say,” she said dryly. She knew Jumin too well now to be frightened of his moodiness. “No, you reacted when they said she was a ‘trusted customer’. What is that? It means something to you. Tell me.” She squared her shoulders and made Jumin look her in the eye.

_What a defiant girl_ , Jumin thought crankily. He knew that about her already but she was getting more and more forward now. Did she think Jumin was that safe, that she could provoke him and he would not respond? “It means she knows the library’s circumstances. She is familiar with my line of work.” He huffed, letting his displeasure known. “The Han family owns the land and thus the library. However, due to territory here, there are other families seeking stronger footholds and looking to make connections. In the interest of avoiding a war between the families, we allow the library to remain neutral. Other members of rival families can meet there, under strict conditions to not partake of any violence, and they can use the space to make deals. It is a meeting ground for many people who live in the underworld. To be a ‘valued customer’ is code for her being a figure in the underworld herself. She is not part of any family that I know of, however, that they know her as such means she could attend such meetings between other houses.”

“Are you worried she’s plotting against you? To betray you?” MC asked. Learning the good doctor had dealings with the underbelly didn’t honestly surprise her. If this woman was willing to marry into the family, MC had already suspected that Minji had some knowledge of their type of business. However, Jumin obviously had his concerns.

“Not necessarily. It simply tells me she was likely seeking a marriage in such a family. She has reasons to agree to a marriage with me.”

MC watched Jumin’s eyes. That was part of the issue but not the entire story. What was the rest? Why was he really upset? She knew asking was dangerous, due to his violent mood swings but MC had to know if she wanted to help. “So… What? You want her to marry you because she loves you?” No, MC knew that wasn’t correct. “No. You said it. It’s because she has a reason, right? A reason to marry you. Specifically. You think she’s going to use you. She’s only agreeing to you because of your status, because of who you are.” She watched Jumin’s eyes narrow dangerously. That was it. She found the reason. MC felt a faint blush spread across her cheeks. Okay, maybe Jumin was still a little scary sometimes. “Jumin, are you sure you don’t want to marry for love?” she asked softly.

“I do not wish to marry at all. There is no reason why I would consider marriage with anyone were I not being forced into it,” he responded coldly.

“How do you feel about love? Are you worried you can’t or won’t love this woman because she knows who you are?” MC prodded.

“Love is not for people like me,” he said, ending the conversation. He was angry, she could see that in his eyes. His face still held that lack of expression but MC felt the anger from him. She’d pushed him. But his reply made her heart ache a little for him. He sounded like he didn’t believe in love. Maybe he was a dangerous man but to say he would never love? It would have made MC’s life feel empty. But that was her. Times like this reminded MC just how different she and Jumin truly were. Circumstances had forced them together but it was clear they didn’t actually belong together. They were too different.

Jumin turned and started to head back towards another road before the drunken sounds of laughter came over to them.

“Then what would ya do?” a drunken voice crowed.

“I’d snap that scrawny neck in two! ‘E thinks he’s so bad ‘cause his dad’s still there. Ya think the marriage announcement is a co– a coinde– a coincidence?” the voice stumbled over the words. “Nah, the Han family is almost done for and I’m gonna be the one that ends it fer good!”

“Shit,” Jumin muttered under his breath, stopping MC by holding out his arm. They remained in the shadows. Footsteps approached them.

“Jumin, who are they?” MC whispered voicelessly. Jumin pressed her into the shadow of the wall, keeping them as out of sight as possible.

“Enemies,” he whispered, his breath in her ear. He had been hoping they would turn and go another way but still the footfalls of three people approached them. MC felt her heart thundering. If they ran now or tried to sneak away, they’d be heard. It was too late. But if they spotted Jumin, trouble would certainly follow.

MC idly clutched at Jumin’s arm. She felt at risk and she was scared. If they saw him, they just said they’d kill him. And there he was, in a dark alley, with a girl. They wouldn’t treat her much better. She was scared, both for herself and for Jumin. The steps still came closer, the sounds irregular. It was obvious all of them were drunk. Which made them more dangerous. She felt her legs begin to shake. What were they going to do? Just sit there and wait for the men to find Jumin and “end him” as they had promised? Shadows passed in front of their alley. The men were there! MC gripped Jumin’s arm tighter by instinct.

With one fluid movement, Jumin grabbed her chin, angled her head upwards and took her lips in his own. His back was to the opening of the alley, his head in shadows and concealed by her head. He was already pressing her against the wall. His eyes were still open until they both heard the footsteps stumble past the alley. Jumin squeezed her, forcing his tongue past her lips. Surprised, she let out a whimper and balled her hand into a fist on his arm. The men stopped at the sound, and they obviously saw the couple. They chortled, let loose a few lewd comments about what sounds they could coax from MC and left cackling at their supposed wit.

Jumin released MC from the kiss, her face bright red. She made the mistake of meeting his eyes, her heart thundering. What was that?! Why?! She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.

“They did not see us,” Jumin said with infuriating calm. Didn’t see them?! Of course they had! But, no, she realized. They did see them but didn’t recognize Jumin. All they saw or thought they saw was a couple getting frisky in a dirty alley. Jumin had protected them. But it still left MC feeling violated.

“You could have asked!” She finally found her voice again.

“Would you have agreed?” he asked, betraying his amusement.

“Of course not!” she blurted, her cheeks turning even more red.

Jumin quirked an eyebrow and smirked. “That is why I did not ask.” Oh, now he was just making fun of her! She hated that she was still bright red and couldn’t catch her breath well. All the while, he was composed as though nothing had happened. A kiss like that took a toll on her, especially when it had been unexpected and from a man like Jumin. She felt like crying in frustration but that would have just made him laugh, she was certain.

MC glared at Jumin, trying to calm the thundering of her heart. He began to turn so they could leave and she saw him swipe his tongue across his lips. Her blush renewed. Had he meant to do that? To lick his lips immediately after kissing her? She watched his back, feeling her stomach began to sink. That man had stirred her up, gotten her mixed up in this mess. He was cold but moody, violent at times, and constantly childish. He kept everything locked up, refusing to even acknowledge he was doing so. He didn’t know how to express himself. And as she watched him calmly walking away, she knew. She was falling for him. She took a deep breath. She was falling hard. Falling fast. And she almost knew with certainty that there would be a painful crash landing for her. Because she had fallen in love with a man who didn’t believe in love.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ah, whoops. this has been posted to tumblr for a while but i guess i missed posting it to here! sorry!
> 
> warning: the attempted rape is in this chapter! it does not get far, nor is it described in detail, but it is a large portion of this chapter. and the aftermath will carry over into the next chapter(s).
> 
> if you don’t feel comfortable reading, this chapter is mostly about mc working with jumin, realizing that the other woman is actually a good wife for him–meaning jumin can’t refuse his father’s request. mc gets attacked and jumin saves her. and begins to realize his own feelings.

The research continued. MC barely had time to think about Jumin. That was an utter lie. She couldn’t help it. They were together now more than ever. To talk about another woman. Nothing romantic about their time together. Except that now MC was hyper-aware of everything Jumin did. Where his eyes were aimed. The almost-minuscule way the corners of his mouth moved when he was in a mood. When he was uncomfortable or upset, he acted like his tie or jacket was too tight. He’d idly tug at his clothes when he was curious about something. He ended up being so much more expressive. He denied his emotions and buried them within but he had small tells that those observant enough could see. MC learned all the habits, even before she herself realized it.

They learned more about Minji Kim and her connections to the underbelly aspects of society. She herself maintained a rather spotless record. She affiliated with other families but had no known loyalties and never broke (nor even bent) the law. From their research, she seemed to be an intelligent, tactful woman that would likely be a suitable partner for any family head. However, that knowledge burned a hole inside MC. This woman was to belong to Jumin. He had no reason to argue. Not anymore. His father had truly chosen a suitable wife for him. But MC now knew of her own feelings. She wanted Jumin to look her way, to defy his father. But Jumin didn’t want marriage of any kind, nor a woman at all. He didn’t want any romantic entanglements. Even if Minji Kim weren’t in their lives, MC would never get any closer to Jumin.

But she still longed for those moments when they met each other’s gaze. When she heard his voice from the other room. The occasions he gave the smallest upturn of his lips when she amused him.The extremely rare moments of him brushing against her, either by accidentally walking too closely or when they both reached for something. She could think of little else besides the kiss when they were together. She remembered how it felt yet was desperate to experience it again, to allow herself more memories. But she knew it would never happen.

And it never did again. Not for a long time. MC served Jumin well and he postponed the agreement with his father at every opportunity. But even Jumin knew he’d eventually have to agree. He eventually had less reason to keep MC with him at all times. She proved to be useful in many ways and it seemed they’d both forgotten her original role of being a driver. He learned that she could be used for more tasks, things he could not be seen doing. He never gave her an illegal job. She had morals (and truthfully, Jumin didn’t want to completely taint her) and Jumin respected that. But sending her places, that was fine. Delivering messages, eavesdropping, she became his personal shadow and he trusted few others above her.

Finally, Jumin asked MC to travel to the seedier parts of town. He needed her to lend a watchful eye for a certain man who may or may not have been spreading inside information of the Han family’s activities to their rivals. They had already discovered who on the Han side was leaking the information but he generally passed it to another party rather than go to the rivals himself. That way, it was harder to track where the leak was coming from. But he’d been discovered and now they only needed proof that this other man was involved as well. So MC found herself at a tavern, watching the suspect for whoever he might meet. She spent the majority of the night there but finally got what she needed. She called to be picked up and quietly slipped out from the bar. She thought no one had seen her. She thought she was done for the night.

She was, unfortunately, wrong.

Three men followed her as they left the bar. She didn’t see them, had no idea they were there. Until one grabbed her wrist and stopped her. All three smelled strongly of alcohol and held expressions that terrified MC. Expressions that screamed of danger to MC. When her wrist was not released no matter how she struggled, she frantically looked around to call for help. Then they gagged her. Pulled her into a dark alley. One stood far too close, whispering disgustingly degrading things in her ear. Things she wouldn’t dare repeat ever. She felt one man’s hand reach out and touch her back. She jerked away, inadvertently falling into another one. She tried to call out again, despite the gag. The one she fell on ripped part of her shirt off, revealing her bra. Tears began to fall from her eyes. Her brain tried to shut itself down, to tune out of everything happening. To save itself from further trauma. So when another set of footsteps approached quickly, MC didn’t hear it. When one man was jerked away, she didn’t notice. It was only when she was grabbed again and pulled away from the remaining two men that she looked to the new person.

Jumin.

He yanked her away from the assailants, firmly keeping her close. He turned her so she was facing his chest, keeping a protective arm around her. She heard him deliver vile threats. One of the men must have lunged at him as suddenly the arm not holding MC withdrew and shot forward, landing a punch. She thought she heard the crack of bone but it was impossible to know as the victim was screaming in pain and anger. Jumin kept MC pressed against his chest and walked swiftly away from the alley. He didn’t allow her to look up or look back, not that she really wanted to. Jumin walked her to the car, carefully sliding her in before finally releasing her.

She saw his face, saw the way he looked at her, and her sobs doubled. She buried her face in her hands, her entire body shaking from the fear.

Jumin watched her almost curiously. He had never actually seen her cry before. And these were no ordinary tears. These came from true fear. She had been terrified for good reason. When Jumin had found them, those men had their hands on MC. One was fondling her backside, another was trying to force a hand between her legs. The third was reaching for her breasts. But she was safe now. But the tears came hard and fast and soon she was panting, trying to breathe over her sobs but failing. He pulled her to him again, holding her gently but protectively, allowing her to cry on his shoulder. He felt her clutch desperately at his jacket, her shaking making him much angrier at the men. She was relieved to see him but she was still almost out of her mind with terror. Being held by him was a comfort. He felt warm and safe and he held her securely, as though nothing could pry them apart. She couldn’t speak, could barely think, but all she knew was that she couldn’t bear if he released her.

“Don’t let go. Please don’t let me go…” she whispered into his jacket.

He had never much been one to protect women as he usually didn’t care. He’d seen other women cry but he’d never tried to comfort them. Most likely, he ignored them. But with MC, he didn’t even consider leaving her alone. He simply held her close and comforted her as best he could. He didn’t quite know why, he merely knew that seeing her in such a state made him deeply uncomfortable. As though he couldn’t bear to see it a second longer. And that he had to stop it.

Eventually, MC’s crying slowed, her breathing regaining a normal rhythm. Jumin had at one point moved a hand to gently stroke her hair and he continued the movement as she even stopped shaking. When her breathing became too regular, he glanced down. She had fallen asleep on him. Normally, he would have shrugged the woman off, not caring if he woke her. But this time, he simply kept stroking her hair (it almost reminded him of petting his cat yet MC’s hair was somehow softer) and let her sleep against him. For some reason, it even calmed him.

Strange.

Stranger still, when the car eventually stopped, and he woke MC, walked her inside her home, and put her to bed, he felt something was suddenly missing. When he himself went to bed that night, he couldn’t help feeling that something was wrong. That he wanted something but couldn’t put his finger on what. But as he drifted off to sleep, he remembered gently kissing the top of MC’s head as she had cried in his chest and the small, nearly imperceptible sigh she’d let loose at the action.

_Cute_ , he thought sleepily as he finally fell asleep himself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> please be warned this deals heavily with the aftermath of the attempted assault on mc. it could be triggering so please take care.
> 
> i tried to write this with my own experience in mind but not to mirror mine exactly. because everyone deals with their trauma differently. i wanted to avoid tropes that may plague fanfiction but i also don’t tend to read such works so i’m not sure what tropes one might see.
> 
> mostly, what i want to say is: your trauma is lying to you. being assaulted doesn’t make you less; doesn’t diminish your “worth”. it lies and warps your thoughts, makes you see ghosts, and it just lingers. but you can endure, survive, move on. talk to people if you need. share your experience. write it down. or move away. remove yourself from what reminds you and torments you. that’s okay. it’s hard but just try not to listen. you’re still the same person as before. no one can take that from you. you aren’t somehow fundamentally changed overnight. you can take the experience and choose to change. but that’s still your choice.
> 
> okay, so this chapter moves things along a bit more. we’re getting to the end. sort of. you guys ready for the angst train coming? you’ve been warned....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: potentially triggering content for assault and attempted rape aftermath below!
> 
>  
> 
> also, because i love using lyrics as inspiration, here’s the inspiration for the last part of this chapter:
> 
> That's why I couldn't be happier  
> No, I couldn't be happier  
> Though it is, I admit  
> The tiniest bit  
> Unlike I anticipated  
> But I couldn't be happier  
> Simply couldn't be happier  
> Well - not "simply":  
> 'Cause getting your dreams  
> It's strange, but it seems  
> A little - well - complicated  
> There's a kind of a sort of a cost  
> There's a couple of things get: lost  
> There are bridges you cross  
> You didn't know you crossed  
> Until you've crossed  
> And if that joy, that thrill  
> Doesn't thrill you like you think it will  
> Still -  
> With this perfect finale  
> The cheers and ballyhoo  
> Who wouldn't be happier?  
> So I couldn't be happier  
> Because happy is what happens  
> When all your dreams come true  
> Well, isn't it?

Jumin summoned MC early in the morning a week later. She hadn’t been seen since he dropped her off. Only a few people knew what happened to her. He didn’t know how she fared and he told himself it wasn’t worry or concern that led him to ask for her presence. He simply needed her for a task. Perhaps surprisingly, she arrived exactly on time.

Typically, she’d greet Jumin with the customary respect to his position, and sometimes she’d smile. On that day, she had an empty stare. She didn’t look at Jumin directly and said nothing to him.

“I have a meeting today that I will need you to drive me to. I am meeting with Minji Kim to discuss our marriage.” Jumin walked into the main area of his house, still outlining his schedule for the day. He didn’t immediately notice how MC hadn’t followed him. She remained standing in the doorway. He turned in annoyance but saw how hollow she looked. “MC?” he asked, with a softer tone.

She gave the smallest twitch at being shaken from her thoughts. The soft, caring voice of Jumin made her realize where she was. After that night, she had a hard time listening to voices, her thoughts frequently drifting away, defending her mind from imaginary but possible threats. And at first, Jumin’s normal, disinterested voice did nothing to shake her from her thoughts. But then he said her name and she heard (or thought she heard) some level of affection. Something soft and sweet that sounded nothing like the harsh words she’d been trying to forget. She looked at Jumin and felt tears sting her eyes. But she fought them. “Yes, sir,” she said softly.

He took several steps closer to her again. He saw the tears. Saw the pain. “You haven’t been sleeping.” He stated it as a fact. It was clearly true. He knew how she normally looked.

MC looked away. “I’ve been avoiding it,” she admitted. “The dreams…” But she couldn’t continue. And she didn’t need to. Jumin understood.

“Can you work?” he asked. Maybe the question sounded cold or uncaring. Just asking if she could fulfill her basic tasks. But in Jumin’s own way, he was asking if she was coping well enough to do her job.

But she couldn’t honestly say yes. If it was just driving, that would be relatively easy. “I don’t know.” Her voice was a whisper.

He took another step closer, forcing her to look up at him. Normally, she’d be thrilled at being so close to him. But this time, she took a step backward. Unable to stand being that close to anyone. Jumin didn’t approach again, though he was obviously trying to find a logical response as to why she backed away from him. But he respected the movement and even took a step back himself.

“Today, I only ask you drive me to my meeting. Afterwards, we can reevaluate your options.”

His words stung her. He sounded like he was firing her, finding no more uses for her. But she understood. She had little value anymore. She’d been sullied and now her mind and her will was broken.

“I can drive you,” she said, keeping her voice steady somehow.

And she did so. Jumin went to his meeting with his father and wife-to-be. MC didn’t know what the meeting was for but she expected that Jumin would find some way to stall again. He always did. Hours later, he emerged. His face the neutral mask but she saw the anger inside. He climbed into the car, and she turned the ignition on to drive him home.

“To this address,” he said, handing her a card. A jeweler’s card.

MC looked back at Jumin, silently questioning.

“Drive.”

She drove. The jeweler’s sign was soon within view. What had happened? Had the meeting truly gone that badly? She parked the car and Jumin waited until she came out as well. Once more, she silently questioned but he said nothing.

“Ah, the young master Han! Your father told me to expect you!” the shopkeeper exclaimed when they entered. “He took the liberty to inform me money is no object and nothing but the best for your fiancée! Minji, her name was? I’m certain she will be a beautiful bride! Come, come! I will show you your father’s favorite line!”

Jumin followed the jeweler, his mood sour, though only MC would know. She stayed back, shaken by this sudden change. What, exactly, had happened? How had Jumin lost so quickly this time? Had she missed something that occurred since that night? She wished she could help Jumin. But nothing she could do mattered. She only loved Jumin and that was what he wanted to avoid. And to make matters worse, he likely saw her now as yet another troublesome woman who needed his protection. Or worse, a woman who was using him for her own needs. She’d failed him in many ways, hadn’t she?

MC silently trailed behind, lost in her thoughts. Not listening to the jeweler listing the features and information about each ring. As someone who’d served Jumin’s father, he pointed out the rings those desperate for money or status had worn. Large rings with needlessly flashy diamonds barely contained in their setting. Jumin turned his nose up at all of them.

Jumin stopped (the jeweler went on, talking about this next series of diamonds to show) in front of a case, his vision fixed on a single ring. MC, still lost and not paying attention, nearly bumped into Jumin, but came somewhat to her senses right beforehand. She followed his gaze. These rings were still larger than any she’d ever seen but modestly so. Large and present without being gaudy. Simple and elegant instead of in-your-face.

“Show me this one,” Jumin interrupted, signaling for the jeweler to come back.

The jeweler prattled on about something but neither Jumin nor MC listened. But he handed Jumin the ring, which Jumin inspected with his full intensity. MC’s thoughts were tearing her away again, and she looked fearfully towards the window. She suddenly felt unsafe, her back to the window, unable to watch for anyone approaching. What if someone grabbed her again? Was she worth saving a second time? Especially as Jumin was now shopping for his future wife. She mattered, even if Jumin didn’t want to marry. Minji Kim certainly held more importance to him now.

“MC. Your hand.” Jumin’s words led her back to the situation. She looked at him, saw him offering the ring out. She held out her hand, palm up, thinking he meant to hand her the ring. “No. I need to see it on a woman’s finger.” MC felt her cheeks go red. Shaking, she turned her hand around, offering her finger. Jumin only put the ring on halfway (thankfully; MC likely would have fainted if he’d actually put an engagement ring on her), saying nothing more.

MC slid the ring on fully, finding it fit rather well, perhaps a little large for her. She looked at Jumin, who took her hand and twisted it and turned it to see how the diamond looked in various lighting. She felt the uneasy conflict of wanting this to be real, to imagine this was Jumin giving a ring to her. But also wanting to run and hide and no longer face the world. No matter how nice or distracting Jumin was, being touched still made her body seize, her stomach turn. She wanted Jumin to hold her and to love her but she also couldn’t handle the way her skin burned at anyone’s touch, how she wanted to crawl away, to rip off her own skin. Even the wind sometimes hurt her, reminded her too much of those men touching her.

“I need a woman’s opinion. Do you like it?” Jumin asked.

“Um, well. Everyone will have different opinions,” she said lamely. The truth was, she did like the ring. But she liked it because she could picture it being the ring Jumin proposed to her with. Not that he ever would. But her mind was eager to picture it, to find that safe fantasy instead of the nightmares.

Jumin looked annoyed. “I did not ask that. Do _you_ like the ring? Is it the sort of ring you hope some man would use to propose?”

MC’s cheeks went dark. She opened and closed her mouth, changing her mind several times on what to say. Her eyes stayed on the ring, knowing she couldn’t possibly look at Jumin in this situation. “Y-Yes. In that case, yes, I like it,” she answered softly.

Jumin gave a single nod of his head. “I see.” He motioned for MC to hold her hand out. He took her hand, removing the ring from her finger. But holding her gaze in his intense eyes. Eyes that, for the first time, completely emptied her thoughts, banished the negative and the good. Just held her there, trapped, but not wanting to escape. He took the ring but his stare lingered. When he finally broke the spell by looking away, MC took in a breath, shaken and frankly a little scared.

But Jumin gave the ring back to the jeweler. It wasn’t right for Minji, he said. The name brought MC crashing back to earth. Right. Her. That was why Jumin was there. Jumin continued shopping, seeming to forget MC was there again. Finally, he purchased a ring, MC’s stomach tying in knots. Not the ring she had tried on. But a large cushion-cut ring that was certain to grab attention.

She drove home, and Jumin sat in silence. No words were spoken the entire ride. When it came time to drop Jumin off, he requested MC to come inside to discuss any future jobs. Oh, right. She’d forgotten about that. Inside, Jumin poured drinks for both of them, while MC truly wondered if she could continue working for him. Not because of her experience but now because of her feelings for him.

Jumin took a seat, setting her glass down in front of her. Without a word, he pulled his phone out, quickly swiped and tapped to bring up the screen he wanted, then held the phone in front of MC.

She gasped. On the phone was a picture of the ring on her finger. “What? But how?”

“You seemed to be off in your own world.I took the picture with no difficulty.” He watched her as she looked at the phone, her cheeks going pleasantly pink. She looked happier now. “I thought you might want to keep a photo to show your future suitors.”

Her spirits sunk a little but she was still mesmerized by the photo. “Ah, probably not. I’d want him to pick out something for me himself.” She smiled a little and looked up at Jumin.

Again, he watched her with that intense, captivating stare. “Yes. That is why I could not purchase that ring. It suited you far more. It could only be your ring.”

MC felt her heart thundering in her chest. “I don’t need a ring like that,” she answered quietly, unable to look away.

“No, you don’t need it,” Jumin responded, subtly and smoothly moving closer. “The fact that you don’t need it is precisely why you deserve it.”

He moved forward again. But slowly. Or it felt slowly. It felt like time nearly stopped. But at the same time, she didn’t expect to suddenly feel his lips meet hers. Time slowed and stopped and yet in the next instant, she was returning the kiss.  

Their lipa lingered together, simply resting at first. Then one would breathe and their lips would barely move, but softly brush against the other pair. MC took the initiative, parting her lips, asking him to kiss her further. Jumin responded with a gentle lick as he deepened their connection. His hands cupped her cheeks, and MC leaned into him. Into the safety and protection he offered. The affection he gave wasn’t violent.He didn’t _take_ from her. Again, MC was the one to start more, lifting her tongue to taste him. Jumin mirrored the action but only for a few seconds more. He slowly disengaged, bringing their kiss to an end. But he kept his hands on MC’s face, making her sit there and watch him. Not run away.

Her face turned to blush, her eyes silently searching his. “Why?” she finally asked when she could take the silence no longer. “You’re to be married. And I’m…” Her words fell off. She was sullied. Ruined.

“You are MC and I do not expect you to be anything else,” he said. He kissed her gently again, briefly. “I am not married yet, and you know I do not wish to marry her.” His thumb idly traced her cheekbone. “I am acting in my own interests.”

Despite herself, she smiled. “You’ve always been so spoiled and selfish like that,” she chided.

“Hmm. Is that so? Then am I to understand this is something you do not want? I felt no objections.” He caught her in her game. He knew she couldn’t possibly refuse him. Because she had no desire to.

“I’m not scared of you,” she answered honestly. Distantly, she knew this wasn’t the healthiest option. But her dream almost came true. She leaned in this time to kiss Jumin, which he returned.

Again, Jumin led the kiss to the end, and finally released her face. Suddenly, he was all business again. He sat back, all traces of romance seemingly gone. “If you wish more time off, you may have it, however, I prefer to know now whether you can return for good.”

MC’s head was practically spinning with the changing moods. “Um. I can come back. And do my job. I can, I promise.”

“Then I will trust your word for now. You are excused for the night.” He rose to his feet to escort MC to the door. But he took her hand as she was leaving, pulling her back to kiss her again. A small fraction of his passion shining through. Then he said goodnight and watched her leave.

She made it to her uncle’s home, in a daze. Confused, in love, hurt, scared, but also hopeful. The last kiss had frightened her more. He suppressed himself for her but what would happen when he couldn’t? She still flinched at being touched, even by Jumin. She’d kissed him back but he had let her lead at that time. The final kiss was surprising and it shook her more than she cared to admit. She blamed it on nerves. Not because of trauma. Because she wanted it from Jumin. So she should be happy.

And now she was finally getting what she’d dreamed of. So it only made sense she was thrilled... Right?

_Happy is what happens when your dreams come true. Well... Isn’t it?_


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this still deals a bit with the trauma and let me repeat here: mc is NOT coping in a healthy manner. she’s not healing, not dealing, not moving on. please do not think this is in any way a good way to deal with abuse. but many people (myself included) make mistakes (some similar to mc, some not) and to make a mistake IS okay. we’re not perfect. no one is. recognizing these mistakes allows you to grow past them and learn and that’s why it’s important to realize and acknowledge mistakes. ♥

The room sat in near silence, save for a few soft smacks of lips, the sharp intake of breath, and occasionally a rustle of clothing. MC rested on Jumin’s lap, his arms around her waist, steadying her. Their kisses were heated, with a feeling they might never stop. This secret affair had continued for nearly a week. When alone, they’d fall into each other, desperately. MC usually brought their encounters to an end, however. Her trauma haunted her, sending her uncontrollable and terrifying images. She’d panic in Jumin’s arms and run from him. But her love kept bringing her back. Jumin offered little in the way of comfort, except that he never commented on her fears. He never assured her but never reacted with anger, either. No, much like with everything else, Jumin remained detached. The only indication of his desires was that their affair continued and he made the usual motions, made the moves to eventually escalate to sex.

But they hadn’t moved beyond the kissing. Sometimes Jumin would be allowed to touch her chest, but sometimes just his arms around her would fill her with panic. This time, she seemed more relaxed. One of Jumin’s hand slowly but purposefully moved beneath her blouse, sliding up her back. She arched her back, holding onto him tighter. Their mouths slipped apart and Jumin kissed down to her neck. She felt him begin to bite and suck. She whispered his name right in his ear and he gripped her harder, bit her neck to bruise her. The panic rose in her but she fought it desperately. She felt Jumin marking her and wanted that. But she started to shake, tears formed and fell from her eyes, but she tried to resist as long as possible. But Jumin knew the signs now. He pulled away, easing MC off his lap.

“Is everything ready for next week?” he asked, purely business. How could he always shift so effortlessly from their lust to the mundane?

MC took time to straighten her blouse, wanting to touch her neck but avoiding it. She didn’t really want to discuss next week. They were finalizing the marriage deal between Jumin and Minji. It meant that Minji would soon be moving to the compound. After the wedding, she’d live with Jumin. But to make the planning easier, she’d be living there beforehand, just not with Jumin. MC had tried to avoid thinking about the marriage. About how things were progressing far too quickly now. How Jumin had seemed to have stopped objecting.

“Yes. Quarters have been readied and she sent notice that she would be moving with her retainer, a man named Subin. She will also have two servants, to be quartered elsewhere on the compound. But, Jumin. Are you really going through with this?” she asked.

Jumin didn’t look up, having turned his attention to papers requiring his signature. But he made a soft noise which equated to him expressing,”Why not.”

MC didn’t care for that answer or lack thereof. “Really? You are. You’ve given up? Just stopped objecting? Why? You don’t love her and you don’t want to be married. Why are you just going along with this?”

Jumin glanced up as her tone rose in anger. There was the faintest hint of amusement in his eyes. “I made a deal with my father. As much as I dislike this situation, I cannot just renege on the agreement.”

“That’s not stopped you before and you know it! You _stole_ a car and drove it away when you couldn’t drive! Why are you so infuriatingly childish in that situation but now you’ve decided to have some maturity?” She wanted to scream, to ask him what he was doing with her. Why in the world were they in their mess of a relationship if he was still going to marry?

Jumin regarded her evenly. “I have not claimed to have matured. I simply have no choice. I admit to behaving badly. I caused you to be injured. Maybe now I am more careful about my objections so as not to harm anyone else.” He didn’t say it but they both understood. He was trying to protect _her_.

Her anger deflated. This was why she’d fallen in love with Jumin in the first place. Because he had moments like that. He behaved childishly, hid his emotions to the point of leading everyone to believe he had none, and acted like he cared only for himself. But the truth was, this man let everything settle on his shoulders. He cared but did not show how much. Either to protect himself or others. Much of what he did was for the sake of others. Perhaps he was a criminal and his actions might not have always been strictly...legal, but Jumin’s morals were strong within him. And for anyone taking the time to learn about him and see past his stony exterior, those ways he focused on everyone else became all the more obvious. This man was painfully selfless and MC wished he could care for himself as he did for others. “And what about you? Who is going to protect you from this harm?” she asked quietly, but left him alone before he could attempt to answer.

Within days, Minji arrived. Jumin and MC had continued their secret affair, though did it remain a secret? She didn’t know. She still hated the subject of the marriage but there was no avoiding it now. Jumin even had a ring. Though it was not the one MC tried on. They met Minji and her staff at what would serve as her guest house until the wedding.

“Jumin! So good to see you again!” Minji greeted them amicably. MC hated that she couldn’t even hate Minji. Their research revealed nothing terrible about her and they’d met a few times and Minji always behaved politely but still friendly. She didn’t cling to Jumin or make outrageous demands. She didn’t pretend to love him. She knew it was a marriage of convenience for them.

“Minji. I trust these arrangements are to your liking,” Jumin replied.

“Of course. We are grateful for your hospitality. Allow me to introduce you to my friend, Subin. He serves as my retainer but we’ve been together so long, we are friends first.” She indicated the man beside her. He stood tall, a hair taller than Jumin, with black hair combed meticulously. He gave a charming smile with a polite bow to Jumin. “So many girls back home were distressed to learn he’d be leaving. He’s not a lady killer but many wish he’d be!”

MC regarded Subin. He rolled his eyes the smallest amount when Minji teased him. It was clear their relationship was much more casual than hers and Jumin’s. She could understand how he could charm women without trying. He seemed approachable. His looks were comparable with Jumin’s (to MC, Jumin was still the more handsome) but Subin would smile at a woman and likely talk to her. Jumin looked cold and uncaring even if he wasn’t. Jumin had the aloof, unapproachable good looks. The man who wouldn’t bat an eye at a woman, wouldn’t care about her advances. Subin looked more like the friendly, popular jock everyone liked.

“You’ve met MC, my personal assistant. I assume Subin will be handling your requests for the wedding? In which case, I ask he work with MC to facilitate. Is this acceptable?”

“Certainly. I look forward to working with you. I hope you won’t find Minji or myself too demanding,” Subin said, still all manners and politeness.

“Of course not. This seems a good partnership on all sides,” MC said, though it left a bad taste in her mouth. She didn’t want a good partnership between Jumin and Minji. But could she really say that? She still couldn’t get too intimate with Jumin. She wanted to and she pushed herself. But in the end, it made things worse, made it harder to forget the other men. She still felt their phantom touches, still grew sick to her stomach when his kisses made her remember them, still hated herself and blamed herself. She and Jumin could be free and have a more normal relationship if she hadn’t been an idiot caught in a dangerous situation.

“If you two will excuse us, then, I believe we are expected somewhere else?” Minji said.

Jumin nodded. “Yes, my father has asked for our presence at dinner tonight. MC, please see that all is prepared for Minji and her staff tonight. Subin, if there is anything you find lacking, please tell MC and we will do our best to resolve it.”

Minji and Jumin left together and MC felt her stomach tie in knots. They looked good together. She wished they didn’t. She and Subin went into the guest house that would hold Minji and Subin. MC might have expected that Minji and Subin were a couple except that they truly acted like old friends with no romance between them.

“So… Just between us serving class, how do you feel about all this? Do you think it’s a good idea?” Subin asked.

MC hesitated. “It’s a good match but I’m not fond of arranged marriages myself.”

“I agree. Minji and Jumin seem like business partners. I think they’ll be successful together but did they really need to get married to have this partnership?”

“His father pushed it. He’s been pressuring Jumin to marry for years. I think that’s really the only reason,” she explained.

“Is that it? Was Jumin fooling around too much?” MC must have made a face at that. Subin held up a hand. “Sorry, he really doesn’t seem like the type. I just don’t know why his father would care so much.”

MC sighed and took a seat in a chair. “More like his father fools around. His father has affair after affair and marriage after marriage. He thinks it’s always love and he wants the same for Jumin. But his father doesn’t really recognize his own faults. Jumin is caught in the middle.”

“And now Minji and we’re here, too,” Subin said sympathetically. “You’ve been with Jumin a long time, I guess?”

MC blushed faintly. “No, not really. My uncle has been a driver for the family for years. I came to be a driver as well but certain circumstances led to me working for Jumin instead. Minji said you’ve been together since childhood?”

Subin looked at MC, his expression unreadable. But he laughed at her question. “Yes. We grew up together. I don’t know if you knew but Minji’s family isn’t powerful. She gained her status through connections. But we were just kids in a regular old neighborhood growing up. And I know your next question: How did I end up following her? I don’t really have a good answer. At first she asked me to watch her back. Around the more unsavory types. And when she started rising up, I just kept following. I’m her friend. We’re used to this world now but before, we were both confused and lost and relied on each other. Now she can stand alone, especially with this match. She doesn’t really need me but I don’t have any other ambitions so why not stay? Maybe someday I’ll settle down. But not today.”

MC couldn’t help a smile. “Didn’t Minji say you had plenty of women to ‘settle down’ with?”

Subin groaned but laughed. “Oh, no, not you, too. She always thought it was hilarious that those girls had crushes on me. They were sweet girls but they didn’t know me, just thought I was handsome. I don’t mind pretty girls but I like to know someone’s personality before I ask them out. And they didn’t really have as much in the way of personality.”

MC had to laugh. “Isn’t that a little harsh? You’re pretty judgemental, aren’t you?” she teased.

Subin didn’t answer right away but he nodded. “You’re not wrong but hopefully I’m not that bad! Don’t tell me I’ve already made a bad impression on you!”

“Relax, I’m not that quick to form opinions, not like you. I take my time, no hasty judgements.”

“Oh, ouch, no judgements but scorn instead?” he shot back, which just made them both laugh more. “But scorn from a beautiful woman like yourself isn’t so bad, I guess.”

The unexpected compliment made her blush. She didn’t answer him. She had nothing to say to that. But she wondered if Jumin found her to be good-looking.

With Minji now living there, plans progressed more quickly. But it became known soon enough that both weren’t fond of the marriage idea. A partnership was agreeable but neither wished to be married. So while Jumin’s father pushed the marriage plans forward, they tried to delay as much as possible. Subin proved to be as capable as MC and the four together proved to be a force to be reckoned with. MC and Subin rather quickly formed a friendship. He was easy to talk to and be around. He put her more at ease than most. She found him to be a good vault for secrets, as well. If she asked him not to repeat anything, he kept his mouth shut, even around Minji. MC felt he could be trusted. She was forced to spend less time with Jumin, though they still met in private from time to time.

And soon, the wedding loomed. The date planned, everything set up. In a week’s time. MC sat in Jumin’s bed with him in silence. They had tried to keep their relationship going but now it would be more difficult. She could become Jumin’s consort, an affair, and she’d be known as a laughing stock. She’d never be respected. Minji probably wouldn’t object much, as she didn’t love Jumin. And it would allow her to keep a lover as well. But it would tarnish the reputation for everyone involved. MC couldn’t help but be frustrated by Jumin’s continued lack of action.

“Jumin, this can’t go on,” she said that night when Jumin pulled her to his side. “Are you really planning on marrying her?”

He sighed. “We’ve had this conversation many times already. Yes. I am marrying her.”

“Then what are we doing?!” she exclaimed, pushing back from Jumin. He tried to reach for her again but she just moved further away.

“You know I don’t love her,” he said, the same response she’d heard before.

“I know. But you’re marrying her. You’ve given up. Is there nothing that will convince you to fight this?” They both knew the answer she wanted. Just the smallest amount of confirmation of Jumin’s feelings for her.

“It will always be a losing battle,” he replied, far too pragmatic. Like always.

Tears stung her eyes. “So half-assed, Jumin. You don’t care about yourself enough. I thought you might…” She shook her head and stopped her own words. “You’re letting this happen and dragging me along. Why? Why are we doing this?” He didn’t answer. Her anger grew. “You won’t say anything? Nothing?! Do you even know how I feel? I love you, Jumin!” she yelled. But her tears blinded her to his faint smile. “But you aren’t stopping this marriage. You won’t give me a reason for us. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore, Jumin. I just can’t. I wish you loved me back. Loved me enough to even consider fighting the marriage for me. But you don’t.”

MC walked out, Jumin quickly following, objecting. His smile gone now. He argued with her. “MC! No, stay.”

But said nothing of his feelings. So MC walked out on him, her heart breaking with every step. Missing his arms already. She watched the marriage plans progress again. Minji the winner of their unspoken contest. Jumin hid any pain and even MC couldn’t tell if he’d been hurt by their breakup. But it killed her every day to see them together. Even if there was nothing between them. It just reminded her that she’d lost.

MC spent the day of the wedding crying. She pretended to be sick. She couldn’t show her face. When she heard a knock on her door, she shooed the person away.

But the door opened and Subin stepped inside. “MC. You’re missing the wedding,” he said unnecessarily.

She tried to hide her tears. “I’m sick. Please leave.”

But Subin wasn’t stupid. He approached her, a hand gently landing on her shoulder. Barely there but she still felt the touch. “You’re crying.” Another obvious statement. He sighed softly. “I wondered at times if you and Jumin were involved. You have feelings for him?”

She frantically shook her head. “No! No!” But there was no real point in denying it. “I did. I do. I don’t know. He doesn’t care about me. I thought maybe… I thought I mattered to him. But I don’t. Not enough for him to stop this. So I can’t have feelings for him. Not anymore. I can’t… I can’t talk about it. It hurts…”

“I understand. It’s okay to cry, MC. You don’t have to hide it. It’s okay to hurt.” He gently rubbed her shoulder. “I’m sorry he hurt you, though. I don’t like to see you in pain.”

MC didn’t say anything for a while, softly crying. She distantly felt Subin’s arm cross her shoulders. She turned to the warmth, sobbing as he hugged her. He simply sat there, holding her, at times rubbing her back to comfort her. And she just cried. He didn’t try to make her stop, but he offered silent comfort. And slowly, she found her breath, and calmed slightly, though her tears still fell. “I just… I’ll never know what I was to him. A lover? Just a female body to use? Not that he did. I mean. We tried but--”

“No. Please don’t tell me,” Subin interrupted, his distaste plain. “I’m sorry for interrupting but I don’t want to know.”

MC looked confused but she nodded. “I was nearly raped. Jumin saved me. I thought it meant more than it did.” Subin shut his eyes, obviously holding back from saying something. “It’s okay, Subin. You can say what you want.”

“I am livid. At whoever tried to hurt you. Angry at Jumin, too. He shouldn’t have toyed with your feelings.”

“I don’t think he really meant to toy with me--” she began.

“But mostly I’m jealous.”

“Jealous?”

“You loved him. It seems like a waste of affection. He squandered it. I would treasure it. I want to treasure you.” He caught her eyes and held her gaze. “MC, I want to say it plainly. I have feelings for you. You’re a beautiful woman, but more than that, you’re funny, intelligent, and passionate. You notice everything about everyone and I can’t bear to see you hurting this much. If you love him, I can’t do anything about that. But if you no longer have feelings for him, I hope you’ll eventually allow me to care for you.”

MC had always wanted Jumin to speak so simply. To just say what he felt, honestly. But he’d always hidden it, even from her. Hearing Subin speak from his heart to her stirred her. She couldn’t say she’d ever thought of Subin that way but she was touched by his words. “That’s very nice, Subin. But you don’t want me. I can’t… I can’t be with anyone. Not after what happened. I still have nightmares. And I react badly when kissed.”

“I do want you, MC. Not your body. Well, not just your body. I want your heart. I understand your fear. But even if we can never share a bed, I still like you. You still mean so much to me. You’re so valuable and I do want you, no matter what. I would never ask you to force yourself to do anything because I only want to care for you honestly.”

Subin had always been good at hiding behind a mask of friendliness. But MC could always see past that. And she could see how truthful he was being. That he genuinely had feelings for her. “I can’t…” she said softly, though she hated hurting him.

“I understand,” he said. “But I hope you won’t mind if I continue caring about you. As more than a friend. You are my friend but you are also more than that in my heart.”

Despite the situation, MC showed a small smile. “You sure you’re not a lady killer? Lines like that would win over any woman.”

Subin smiled as well. “I don’t want any other woman. No one could compare with you.”

If only Jumin had been saying those words. “I can’t, Subin. I’m sorry. At least not right now. I should… I should focus on the relationship between Jumin and Minji and making sure everything is in order.”

Subin cocked his head to the side. “Should you? Maybe I’m wrong but I think it would be better to keep your distance from them. At least for now, until the wound heals a little. I imagine that will be difficult but no need to experience this pain every day, is there?” She thought for a moment. Maybe he was right. Jumin had many staff members who could do what MC did. Perhaps not as intuitively as her but she was far from irreplaceable. “If that’s what you’d rather do, I will help you. And I’ll always be here to talk to you, if you need it.”

MC nodded. She’d tell Jumin after the wedding, then. That she couldn’t work for him. She needed space.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [danger: side](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18045161) by [anon_drabble](https://archiveofourown.org/users/anon_drabble/pseuds/anon_drabble)




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